"Everything"

I have a habit of making, and breaking plans.

I say I’ll call – then sometimes I won’t.

I’ll make excuses for not going somewhere, or not keeping plans. 

Reasons appear out of midair,

All to get out of something that shouldn’t be a chore, or tiring-

I make my way out of things, quite often.

 

I cling tight to things that are easy.

Things that require no effort at all.

Admittedly, I’m a bit antisocial.

I’d rather stay home.. most of the time.

 

I have a habit of being impulsive.

I over-analyze, most things.

When I want something, I’ll probably get it.

I can make a list of things to do,

And only get to a few of them.

And I still sleep, just fine.

 

I’d rather watch a movie, than do things that should be done.

I’d rather eat fast food, than make a healthy meal at home.

I’d rather use my dryer’s high heat, than use an iron.

I’d rather take the long way home, than the short route.

 

I usually don’t listen when I’m given advice.

I will figure it out on my own,

Admitting you were right, years later.

 

I say I’m ok , when I’m not.

I’ll smile when I want to scream, or cry.

 

I still listen to 90’s boybands,

And I will rock out to them in my car, and shower.

I liked Nsync, and BSB – equally.

Dawson’s creek reminded me of my highschool boyfriend.

Every episode…

And-

I secretly wanted it to be Joey and Pacey, the whole time.

 

I am a hopeless romantic,

But I cringe at overly touchy-couples.

Unless its me.

Then,  I don’t mind PDA at all.

 

I will do what I want.

Generally, I hate authority.

I’ll ask what you think,

But hate the criticism, no matter how constructive.

I lose my temper, more often than not.

 

A part of me wants to start all over,

And go to school to be a lawyer.

 

I check my pocket for my keys, at least three times.

Before I shut the house, or car door.

 

I check the mirror a lot, To make sure I look alright.

I’m arrogant , and self conscious

Usually at the same time.

I’m can be put together to a T,

But a mess with the rest of them too.

 

 

“I blame everyone else, not my own partaking
My passive-aggressiveness can be devastating
I'm terrified and mistrusting 
And you’ve never met anyone as, 
As closed down as I am sometimes.

You see everything, you see every part 
You see all my light and you love my dark 
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed 
There's not anything to which you can’t relate 
And you’re still here”

---Everything

Alanis Morisette