Big Sippy Cup

Last night Adyson, in all of her 13 month old "big baby" self, sat in front of my counter in the kitchen, as i washed the dishes- and as she howled with hurt as I denied her, her bottle. The bottle sat on the counter, waiting to be washed- as she held a miniature sippy cup, that could only hold about 5 or 6 ounces of milk. She held the green cup with little excitement, continued her tantrum- and threw it across the floor.

I turned my head as I watched the cup roll and hit the refrigerator. I looked to Adyson with alligator tears streaming down her face- her mute cries breaking through every so often through the sobbing, and I,  shortly later deciding that today- would not be the day I take away her bottle. It would not be the day that I make her "Act her age".
Today would be the day, as all of the other days before- that I give in to her being a baby.
I would hold her with her bottle full of warm milk , because she refuses to drink it cold, I would rock her gently back and forth as we watch TV before bedtime and settle into our normal nighttime routine.

Today, being a new day, I sat down with the yellow pad of paper and pen, to write out the grocery list. I went down the lines crossing off all of the food and other household supplies needed for the week, as I arrived to the last line.... I half-heartedly scribbled down three words...

Big . Sippy . Cup. 

I found myself writing these words with hesitation and a little bit of sideways smirk on my face. Only half-believing in these words anyway. Knowing in the back of my mind that this cup, like others- would end up on the shelf for several more weeks until I worked up the courage to do the unthinkable.

Could I possibly take all of the bottles- box them up into a bin to put away on a shelf or store downstairs with all of the other baby things that have been put away, never to be seen again? Could I really just go cold-turkey and get rid of one of the last traces of baby-life for Adyson?

I should also note that , at daycare -- she does not get a bottle. She does not get a pacifier. All methods that Miss Beth implemented when I said, let's start trying to do the big cup instead of a bottle. And so, one day- I stopped bringing her to daycare with a pacifier, and Beth stopped offering a bottle.

Little does Miss Beth know,  Adyson still gets that bottle and Paci at night with Ma-Ma. :-) 
I think I find myself grasping for the little moments still of baby-life with her but find myself at the same time, trying to find the line between making her into a "big girl" and keeping her little. We're really just working on their timeline anyway. Change happens when they're ready for it to happen, and permanent changes happen when we're ready to let them!